06 — Fuck It
Unrelated thoughts have been stammering my mind for a while now. It’s best that I quit the struggle already and sit down in peace. Relentless effort did stick with me for a while, now it’s merely the greed for money that keeps calling me. A universal lust, of women, men, money, and kind. Devoid of compassion, my soul rusts like the slave it has become. Seeking all around for means and ways to earn another buck or two, it’s enticing but surely will wear me out in the time that’s due for me. The stimulation will wear out, the thoughts will wither down and what would be left then would simply be a man devoid of vision, lack of instinct, being kicked around like a moneyball, waiting for the next wave of storm to strike down the hollowness inside. Who do you have to outshine? There certainly is a long run, cannot stay swayed by the present.
But if you’d like to reap your rewards too early then feel free to do so. Remember, however, life moves at its own pace. Something happens when it’s meant to be. Force it too soon and you get stuck in an illusory nothingness. Then above all this manipulative bullshit, there’s always a chance to go chasing after a compromising end.
How much pity can a soul sustain? It has to be worn out, as slow atrophy of the human conscious sets in. Works best in situations without vigilant demarcations of surprise and demise, maybe a surprising demise. I must sleep, I have to sleep, it’s been too long since I have slept. Sometimes I have to impress myself, but then comes along a shitload of stress and you get burnt out. It is better to not succumb to overt activity or inert passivity. Both are perils of their own kind, but the worst form is the middle ground that a man eventually has to chase. Can’t keep asking yourself forever what’s it that you wish to do. Maybe it was along the way you’d chosen to arrive at a singularity, maybe that singularity hasn’t come at yet, but it exists and is bound to come attached to you in your due time.
Feed me a morsel and my mouth will sing the greatest song. That’s how the world works for you. The rich, what do they call themselves when they aren’t anyway superior in cultural implications. Fuck this discussion. We’ve been roaming around a lot lately. And when you’re roaming around too much, you arrive at this thought: what purpose is your continuous conveyance yielding. If you keep getting an answer, don’t quit. Either way, you can quit if you’d like. Some people understand, others don’t. This friend of mind, alright fuck him…I won’t make an effort to call him out. But what’s the need to tear down a flex board that calls me out for my shortcomings, and what I really did was just spit on it. Am I dreaming in any way, is this is a dream with or without consequences. I slept the whole goddamn week and slaved at work still my bosses continue to favor me. I really don’t know how things are working in my favor. But fuck that.
O what should I fuck now? This house gathering? I feel this man can’t decide to visit the school students. Maybe women who’ve actually helped themselves up from the shackles of misery. Why am I dining this? No, I agree that I haven’t prepared one bit but you can’t deny me access to facilities that are. I am not going to fulfill the backlog from the office. Where does he work, he does his shit right from his home. Pretty cool and the rest of people who like to travel but hate intercity fuckery. Man you gotta convince me hard not to fuck this chick right in front of me. We can arrange for everything you need. What do you need my friend, when suddenly you chose to just barge in straight. It’s too early to say anything, let time ripe our dicks and cunts. Are we just measuring things around or we do actually have something that we’d better clear out right now. I mean I cannot address your cultural heritage without the epiphanies necessary to do so. There’s one very simple thing that I can do. You know I can put all your access and details and request everyone to touch you through the sales call pitch sale, while the housewife keeps working as the housemaid far and wide.
But I felt utterly guilty about it, reasons were different when said and meant. Life’s not aided by acts of heroic, what’s best is to let everything as it is. Just make sure that you piss very hard before you go to sleep else the piss will rush in and corrode your innateness. You do what you got to do, just leave us alone. Do in a day ten times what he does over 5 days. It’s incredibly stupid of him that way.
But are we just here to keep running around and counting things like they’re always meant to work that way. Sometime someday things will improve. You just have to keep them convinced of how bad of a kind you are and how much potential you achieve by conquering the world. These people are raw and mundane, they remind me of a very uptight morality, constricted by material wellness. That’s important though isn’t it.
There are so many thoughts still running in my mind, which proves the fact that there’s a great chance to release and improve. That’s what you have to do. Simplicity kills, so does the complexity. Don’t have mal intentions and keep yourself safe without a throat in this deserted land.
Fuck it I am going home.
